You know when you start a blog and blog once in awhile and then you start getting readers and you realize you have all these wonderful readers and you need to blog more and then things happen and you ignore your blog for a week?

Well I\’m sorry.  I really am …  but .. well …

I\’ve been running around my house with a shoe in smack position while a centipede roams my house.  I\’m still sleeping with my shoe and can\’t find the darn hairy creepy crawler thing with 1,000,000,000 legs.

That will crawl on me.

While I\’m sleeping.

Maybe I need to pack some heat like my women of the wild outdoor lady friends.

911 what\’s your emergency – Um hi.  I shot my toe with my pink bb gun trying to shoot a centipede and can you please send an ambulance but not the 5 blaring flashing lights firetrucks you normally send. K thanks.

What happened to Jody now?

She shot her toe with her pink bb gun again.

And after being away from home two weekends in a row I was so looking forward to spending time around the house and getting things done.  Including a few naps, movies, naps and catching up on my soap operas I\’ve missed for two weeks and naps.  And YAY it\’s suppose to rain this weekend.

Naps.

But then your husband has spring fever and insist on spending time outdoors with the indoors girl and he decides he wants to do a few projects … outdoors.  So you agree and decide let\’s get a fire pit.

Yay springtime cool nights and hanging around fire pits like Rex and friends.

But then while standing in the middle of the outdoor section of the store your husband decides we need new patio furniture.  And a gazebo.  That comes in three separate boxes.  With instructions.  And tools.  And you\’re in charge of reading instructions and handing over tools like you\’re some kind of craftswoman saying, “Mark is this the wrench thingy you need?”

“No Jody. That\’s a hammer.”

And then it\’s Sunday and you never got your nap.

And I only dropped the hammer on my toe once.  And we didn\’t even need a hammer.

You know those “coffee just doesn\’t seem to be working” kind of days and you\’re running late so you just grab the first pair of granny panties you can find and they just don\’t match you\’re shirt but it doesn\’t matter because you\’re married and whose going to see you\’re granny panties anyway?  Well it does matter.

Because eating … um … cupcakes and well … umm … wearing non-matching granny panties … things can happen …

In public.

When you bend over.

And hear “RIP”.

And if you were wearing a thong, it wouldn\’t matter.

Because ripped jeans are back in style.

But you eat cupcakes.

And wear granny panties.

So you swear you\’ll never eat cupcakes again.

And if I had a fire pit I\’d burn the grannies.

And make s\’mores.

Have a good day all …

911 what\’s you\’re emergency – Um hi. Can you please send the 5 blaring flashing lights firetrucks.  My hair is on fire again.

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

Tags: centipede-roams, fire pits, granny-panties, hunting, looking-forward, outdoors, pink, three-separate