I quietly exit the pickup in the predawn darkness, the door dinger announces to the wild creatures that I am here, but deer don‘t care about such things they are used to it I am sure. I slam the door and open the rusty tailgate, after banging around in the back of the truck for ten minutes I am finally ready for the quiet stalk into the lush and wild wilderness before me. On my back is a portable tree stand, complete with climbing stakes, ratchet straps, backpack, collapsible cooler filled with water and soda, hamburger patties and jerky arrows, quiver, lunch, dinner, snacks, extra clothes just incase I fall in the creek again . My butchering kit (knives, tomahawk, sharpener, rubber gloves, rope, portable hoist and handy wipes). I am wearing the latest in camo technology, UnderArmor, scent free socks, head cover and rainproof, snow proof state of the art 3d real life camo clothing. My bow is the finest that can be bought, shooting a carbon fiber shafted arrow at over 400 feet per second, my broad heads are mechanical devises able to open on impact with my prey and deliver a blood trail that is up to four feet wide. My fiber optic sites and built in laser rangefinder allow me to know the exact distance and angle of my quarry. My boots are vibram soles, waterproof, lightweight and have been used on mountains like the Alps (not by me personally but by another adventurer). I gave a GPS locating devise that allows me to find my way in the dark to my tree stand, the big blue illuminated screen is kind of blinding in the dark but deer cannot see it I am pretty sure. I have covered myself with doe in heat urine, the rut won\’t start for a few months but the salesman assured me that deer don\’t really pay attention to such things.

Near late morning I finally find my tree, after hanging the stand and calling my brother Jim on my satellite phone to bring me my heated Realtree camo stand seat (which he did on his new six wheeled ATV..This is his ten acre woods right behind his house) I finally settle in for a long hunt. Near nine thirty I begin to hear something coming down the trail, it turns out to be Jim\’s kids who were hunting dragons and bears. I did not even know there were bears here, but am glad I have two cans of bear repellent with me just incase, and make a mental note to check for some dragon spray next time I am in the Cabalas.

Near noon while trying to get untangled from my tree stand safety harness which became entangled in the portable cooler and somehow set off one of the cans of bear spray, I became so hot from the rainproof ,snow proof layers of perfectly camo clothing that I had to use my battery powered fan from Cabelas to cool myself down. I fired up my tree stand grill and cooked some of the latest Cabelas freeze-dried wilderness dinners… They sure taste good after a long time on stand, ant they are good for you too!

At around one thirty I fell asleep, but my safety harness and emergency locating beacon saved me. The search and rescue people were very friendly and once they left the woods I decided to hunt from the ground for the rest of the day. My detachable Realtree camo heated tree stand seat really saved the day sitting on the ground through the long afternoon. I fired up the Cabelas grill and cooked some hamburgers for dinner and called my wife, she reminded me that I needed to be home by dark because we were having an anniversary or something. Around three thirty I was twittering and chatting on my blackberry on face book when something came down the trail. I at first thought it was a bear and fired two warning shots with both cans of bear spray. Luckily, the nearly empty can ran out first before Jim was completely blinded. He is my brother and I immediately began CPR while sitting on his chest, he was making weird noises and coughing a lot. I read once that heart attacks can be very dangerous and figured that the thought of a real bear being in these woods could well have contributed to my brother\’s current status. After giving him about fifty compressions and blowing life giving air down his lungs he finally quit fighting me so much and just laid there staring up at me with this weird look.. Must have been the shock… Bears are pretty scary, but heart attacks can be even worse. Jim finally recovered and after regaining his footing began staggering through the woods. I watched until I saw him enter the back porch door and was pretty sure he was now OK and safe. Near Dark, I turned on my battery-powered spotlight and began the treck back to the truck. I really didn\’t need the light because my woods lore combined with Jim\’s yard light pretty much made it impossible to get lost, but it is a cool light so I used it. As I head down the highway, following the coordinates on my GPS back to home base, my Sat… phone suddenly rings. Jim is having an allergic reaction to the heart attack and needs me to drive him to the ER… I turn around and go back to help my brother, tomorrow will be a better day of hunting, it is supposed to rain, great opportunity to test my raingear, I must remember to pick up some more bear spray on the way home… Hunting is my life danger is my constant companion and adventure is my middle name!

Mike “Hawk” Huston – High Country Archer. A collection of Mike\’s stories.

A collection of Stacey\’s wildlife photos – Stacey Huston

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

Tags: alps, battery, brother, cabelas, country, down-the-trail, house, hunting, safety